Lord You're Mighty
Lately life has been getting pretty stressful if I am being honest. You see every plan that I tried to piece together has completely fallen through. In a few weeks everything changes for me...yet again. In case you were wondering, I hate change. I am a fan of stability, I want to plant my roots, and give them time to dig deep into the earth before they are ripped up, and transplanted once again. I guess I should probably bring some context into this situation.
I graduated with a degree in Public Policy from William Jessup University. I absolutely loved my time there, but 2 semesters away from graduation I realized this degree was no where near the field I was created to be in. The professors were awesome, I learned so much from them but sitting in a class reading The Constitution was a brutal reality check that I should never go to Law School. As I began my senior year of college I was felt called to Southern California. Long story short, I made some decisions, and moved here last July. I started a Masters degree and a job that was only a 10 month commitment. It was so clear that the Lord was calling me down here. Everything fell into place so easily, and so quickly. However, as I look ahead to the upcoming year, I have no definitive direction as to where I am going next. There were many options that have fallen through, to the point where it had to have been divinely orchestrated. I think God is asking me to change course a bit, and man that is so scary!
I have never questioned whether or not I am supposed to be down in this area. It is so clear to me. God has been abundant in providing me with incredible humans to adventure through life with. They are the kinds of humans you meet and think Where the heck have you been my whole life?They are the individuals that ask the hard questions, and stick around as you wade through the mess with you. They are the individuals that will make you laugh until you cry. These are the individuals who will run through the streets of LA barefoot with you....twice. God has been so good to me. As I transitioned to Southern California I prayed for community and He blessed me more than I could imagine. I am telling you, these people are one in a million, a billion really, and I have the opportunity to live life with them. It is such a gift.
But right now, I don't know the direction God is wanting me to take. And that, well it's terrifying. I spent the last 9 months investing into a job I love dearly, but when it comes down to it, its a job, and the time has come where I need to move on. I need to find what is next. God has never let me down, and He never will, that is just not in His character. He is always faithful. It is me who is unfaithful, who turns and runs in the opposite direction when life gets hard, when it gets scary.
Friends, here is the kicker. God is always in control, there is a plan, a purpose, even when we are to blind to see it. My boss often references to an analogy that involves a pie. He talks about how we will never have all the pieces of the pie. And how true is that?! We will never be able to hold the entire pie on our plate, not until we are face to face with our Lord. Hopefully by then it won't be too late. As I reflect back on my life so far, I am collecting more pieces of this pie but I still don't have them all. And that, well it's okay. If my goal is to live a life worthy of the calling I have received, a life that ultimately is glorifying to God, well then I don't need the whole pie. I just need enough to sustain me, enough to propel me forward.
Often we don't know what is truly ahead for us. We don't know the circumstances we will be faced with. However, we are still called to be faithful, to find hope in the unknown. As I feel God leading me to change it up yet again, all I want to do is protest, to say no, to remind God oh how happy I am here...right where I am. Kindly, He reminds me, "I have so much more for you..." and with that I take a deep breath and say, "Lord You're Mighty" and run full speed ahead to the direction of his sweet, powerful, and mighty voice.