Why Not
Right now, my thoughts are scattered. Thoughts are all over the place and I am not even surprised. My life has been a blur the last few weeks. I knew this trip to Romania was on the horizon but man, it snuck up on me. All of a sudden I found myself getting dropped off at the airport, wondering where the time went and unsure of how I got there. Folks, if I am being honest, I ask this question all the time How the heck did I get here?
Well, it happened. Ready or not, here I am, sitting on a plane headed back to Romania. It doesn’t seem real. When I get to post this update I will be sitting in Germany, and it will be my birthday. I will be sitting in a brand new airport surrounded by strangers as I celebrate my 23rd birthday. When I think about where I am in life I can truthfully say that this was not how I anticipated my life going. I never expected to ever go on a mission trip, yet alone 3 years in a row. However I could not be more thrilled, and thankful for the current situation I am in. I don’t know who first said this, but it has been popping up all over the place recently, and the quote simply says, “People plan, and God laughs.”
I look back at the plans I have tried to make happen for my life and praise God they didn’t happen. Not because they would have been bad decisions, but because they would have been safe. The plans that I have tried to pursue have always been safe. The risk has been minimal, and I always have an escape route. Lord, I am so thankful that you didn’t allow for my plans to prevail. I am thankful for the journey you have placed before me, for the people that I get to interact with, for the community that I get to live life with. I am thankful for being pushed farther than I thought possible, and for experiencing things I never even dreamed of.
Typically when I leave for Romania, I spend so much time preparing mentally and emotionally for this trip. For what I will do, what I will see, and who I may interact with. This time around, that did not happen. Instead I spent the last few days doing everything but that. I drove to Vegas to get my car smogged; only to turn right around because I had to pack up and move my entire apartment before leaving to Romania. Along with that, the job I took last March, which convinced me to move to Southern California ended, and I wrapped up my first year of Grad School. As chaotic and emotional as that was, God had more to throw at me before I left the country. He placed the best next step in my lap. It literally fell there, I didn’t search for this job, it came to me through a text message. So when I say it fell in my lap I am not kidding, but I couldn’t be more grateful. I mean who hires someone when they are leaving for 40 days?? But, God knew exactly what I needed and provided in ways that I never anticipated. Again.
You see, this new job has surrounded me with some of the most encouraging, supportive, honest, and loving individuals I have ever had the privilege of knowing. This community has been an answer to prayer. In the midst of thanking God for this incredible gift I get distracted wondering How the heck did this happen? Why did I get this job? How am I going back to Romania? Why, Why WHY?? I ask the why question often. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful beyond words yet my mind isn't able to comprehend the beautiful situations I find myself in. Why me God?
And to be honest I am still processing through the hows, the whys, the whats. But reality is that we are His. We belong to the Creator to the Universe, to the greatest Father there ever was. So instead of asking why, I need to remind myself why not. Why wouldn’t God provide for me in this way? Why wouldn't he surround me with individuals who love me well. Maybe you need to ask yourself that too, why not? Why shouldn’t it be you? Go out there, seek more, follow your passions, and see what it is God has created for you.
xo,
Kat